No matter how big the group is, you can always easily spot confident people in any room. Have you wondered why?
It’s because of some of the attributes they hold close, not to impress people but as a natural way of handling things around them. No, it’s not talking louder than the other, or being extra social or extrovert, or going all out and talking to everyone in the room.
Let’s see what confident people do that makes them stand-out.
1. Boasting Their Success
Do you know of that one person that always proactively shares their success stories even without asking?
You know, like the world tour they took, brought an expensive car, a villa in Miami, and similar stuff you are probably not interested in. Well, one would think that seems like what a confident person would do, right?
On the contrary, someone that voluntarily gives all that in a few seconds of conversation is not really the confident type of person. They do that to cover their insecurities and boasting such things helps them get that feel-good attitude.
Now imagine you doing something totally opposite of that. Let’s praise other’s victories and achievements, not seek their approval. Whether you have success stories under your belt or not. Regardless of what your situation is, it is going to take a lot of courage to be genuinely happy for someone else’s success. If you truly are happy about their stories, that’s going to reflect in how you react.
That’ll definitely speak for itself.
2. Be Self-Righteous
We have all experienced that. that one person that always thinks that there’s everything wrong with the world, his opinion and acts are saint-like but everyone else is a satan in disguise. Not just that, they’d typically find something wrong with what you have to say, always ready for a bout (of words). Eager to win every conversation.
Whereas confident people will peacefully listen to what you have to say, make suggestions that are most likely helpful. In addition, they are not there to win the argument but understand that everybody has a right to an opinion and the person is just sharing his/her point of view.
Doesn’t that sound like a person that you wouldn’t mind sharing your thoughts?
3. Downplay Others
Sort of a bully, but not exactly. Bullies tend to be rude, abusive, and put you down. What I am referring to are the people that want to portray themselves as confident people and in that process, they happen to downplay others. They do that by always proving that they know more than you do.
Sometimes even stuff like, you know, when you share with them that you bought a new car, they’d go like, Ah, I see, I bought a new BMW or a Mercedes. However, confident people don’t have to constantly remind themselves or others that are doing great in life. They would simply enjoy your moment of joy and celebrate with you.
Isn’t that really cool?
4. Killer Fillers
Ah…Hmmm….I think I am gonna, uh, get a drink, to ah, enjoy the evening…
Well, yeah everyone does that from time to time. It makes sense if that’s done in moderation or in a context that it fits. If you are trying to be funny while dodging a question, seems suitable you know.
Using these fillers in a regular conversation would make you appear to be less confident about what you have to say. You may be an expert in the subject, but then it feels like you don’t really have control of what you have to say. It’s natural that one would feel that way while listening to another person. In most cases, we sometimes don’t realize that we are actually doing it.
Confident people manage their chain of thought because they are not nervous or anxious about what they are presenting. Then everything they have to say makes sense and appears that you have complete authority over that subject
Fillers would normally act as a barrier to the listener because our minds are so distracted, they’d use that moment to wander off in their head. By the time they make it back, you have lost the impact and their full attention.
Does that get your attention?
5. Going on and on forever
Nobody wants to listen to unwanted rambling that goes on forever and the actual subject is masked or hidden somewhere in those long essays.
I worked in customer service taking calls a while ago. One would always come across that customer who goes on forever to explain the actual problem. I’d go (in my head), get to the point already mister. That’s kind of how you would feel when someone talks forever about things that don’t belong in that context.
One might be patient or just nice enough to listen to once, but they’ll avoid having any conversation with you in the future. I do that. There’s a colleague who does exactly that, and I actually do my best to avoid him. Not that he’s a bad person, but I can’t spend time listening to stuff every time there’s a simple conversation.
Confident people, on the other hand, know that it doesn’t please anybody. They’d make sure that they talk straight and to the point.
It sounds like a person i’d talk to…
Let’s Bring This To End Here…
So, I hope you get the point and understand what confident people do. You can always make a conscious effort to manage how you deal with people in social or personal gatherings. It might seem nature is going against you, but believe that’s what you would feel when you unlearn things.