Do you constantly care about what others think of you? Or, do you often depend on making others happy more than yourself?
This is one thing that has been stopping you from achieving your full potential. To keep it simple, others’ opinion doesn’t matter, What they think of you doesn’t matter at all.
But, why do you care so much about what others think of you?
If you have been raised by brown parents just like me, one thing you have heard pretty much all your life is that if you do this or that “What would people think about you, what would your neighbors say, or what would the society think about you and your family?
Can you relate?
I remember these lines vividly, even though it’s been nearly 15 years that I have moved past these, and have been making my own decisions. That’s something that has been embedded in most of the kids, it kinda becomes natural for you to constantly seek others’ approval or care too much about what others think about you.
It sounds silly and stupid now, but strangely a lot of people justify the thought and think that it’s the right way to go. Yeah, maybe if you are planning to become a criminal or a petty thief, it might make sense to think what others think. Even then it’s your choice.
To some pleasing others seem to be the way of getting that attention and validation with the sense of belonging. However, when you are constantly thinking about pleasing others, you are already leaving the one person that matters, out of your equation; “You”.
How Would It Help You When You Stop Caring About What Others Think of You?
First of all, it’s going to require a whole a lot of unlearning of what we know. Yes, in addition to continuous and conscious effort when you are starting out.
Let’s take a look at how that’s going to help us in becoming a better person.
Imagine for a minute, anything that you do is free from the fact that there’s nobody to judge you. I mean, there will be people but in your mind, there are no people judging you and even if there are some, it doesn’t matter to you.
In all honesty, there are so many things that we hold ourselves from doing just because of what would they think. Yes, sometimes it helps us refrain from doing some bat-shit crazy stuff. However, in most cases, we are also keeping ourselves some real-life good experiences too.
Wouldn’t you think that freedom from all mental blockage can be liberating?
2. Not Be Afraid
When you are free of all the stress of impressing people, then you are free to learn, execute, make mistakes and learn from them again. I simply hate the idea when someone tells you, “I told you so”. We don’t share things because we wanted to be criticized. Rarely people give you honest feedback, and what’s even rare is that people don’t quite often are happy to hear what you share.
Real people in your life will always support you for doing things that are beyond the traditional rules. They’ll always stand by you when things are right and not so right.
You shouldn’t be afraid of failing at tasks that you take, especially because you are worried about what other people think.
3. You Craft Yourself
When there’s no stopping you, the thoughts of other peoples’ judgment, you become unstoppable. Yes, you will have your inner demons to fight off, when you do, you are going to be able to do things that you thought you never could.
You craft yourself into becoming that person you want to become. The best version of you. All your failures and success will teach you lessons that no book or guide can ever. That means a lot, if we were to just change from other people’s advice, would that really something you want to be.
Let’s go craft a newer and finer version of you, be free and not be afraid of the things that don’t matter.
4. Find Inner Happiness
We are all in pursuit of happiness, aren’t we? At the same time, we don’t really know what happiness is or where we can find it. We tried being attached to materialistic things, possession of a variety of things. Mostly, we have always looked for happiness outside of our being.
Now, that’s weird in many ways. Of course, if you can’t share happiness with anyone, it may seem like a pointless affair. But then that’s just our conditioning that makes us believe that. You can do your best to make someone happy for sure, by all means, we have to do that. However, if we base our happiness on the notion that it can happen if others are happy with us, I think that’s a wrong idea sold to us.
We have got to find happiness in ourselves first, seek to understand our being, and then share the happiness with the world. As I mentioned earlier, real people in your life will always celebrate your happiness, no matter how small or big. You got to recognize such people in your life, keep them and discard anything that doesn’t match it.
5. You will stay away from negative people
Surround yourself with people that help you grow, let you become the better version of yourself, uplift you when you are feeling low. That’s the company that you would wanna keep. Similar, be the same kind of person for others that need help.
People that constantly criticize you, always have negative things to say that are not worth your time. When you stop caring about what such people say, you would eventually distant yourself from them. Hence, removing negative people from your life good.
Once you have learned and understood the kind of difference it makes in your life, you will automatically never let such people come into your life.
There’s a lot that we can choose to care about. Love, compassion, peace, well-being, nature, our planet, people that need help but one thing that should never bother is that what others think or say about you.
Do you think of anything else that should have made the list?
Let me know in the comments below, I’ll be more than happy to include it here.