The recent news that I came across of a former colleague that I closely worked with. Apparently, he committed suicide. I have known him to be a jolly and happy kind of person, but seems like what people show out front isn’t exactly what’s going on the inside.
It’s sad to know that a barely 30-year-old young man decided to give up his life. That leaves the family in misery for the rest of the life. Parents would never in a million years imagine that they would ever see their child leave this world before they did.
On top of that, it’s such a waste of life. Don’t take me wrong, I don’t mean to be an insensitive prick when I say that. It is in fact a waste of life. Having said that, it’s really difficult to understand or even come too close to imagining what the person would have been going through. No reason can justify his action, but the amount of stress, anxiety, and a variety of other domestic problems can push people into a corner.
They fail to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Lately, suicide rates have not so surprisingly doubled and there are various reasons.
Why Does Anyone Commit A Suicide?
While each individual’s life situations can be different, there are usually some aspects of their lives that would match with that of the others. In some context at least.
Let’s take debt, for example, people have found themselves in debt so deep that they know that can’t pay it off in the near or a slightly far future. In addition, with what they are earning they can barely keep the basic necessities fulfilled. Also, comes a less than average standard of living which makes them feel underachieved in life.
Family Problems, whether it is with your parents, grown-up siblings, spouse, and any similar domestic problems can let you lose sight of a positive future. In my opinion, there are always signs of overwhelm, erratic behavior, and loss of interest. There are more such signs that can be paid attention to, and people that surround them on a daily basis can make a difference in their life before they lose them.
Feeling of unworthiness – Let’s just be honest, an average human being will feel this one, at least, once in a while. Like you know, what am I doing with my life, I am such a loser, I am messed up. I know this is negative self-talk but most of us go through something like this at some point. What if a third person were to make you believe that, your family for example, or your spouse? Will that confirm their belief?
What can we do to prevent more of our loved ones from seeing suicide as an alternative?
In most cases, it would appear that people who commit suicide would have had these warnings hidden and we wouldn’t notice. At least, on the outside, it would appear like that. It would be sad to know that people who live with them haven’t observed that.
It’s no surprise that you would hear that, “oh we didn’t see that coming”. Again, I am not throwing a fit at someone who has just lost their loved one. But come on, are we that blind towards another person that we fail to make mental notes of their lives.
How about we try and do this?
Sometimes, we don’t really need to do a lot. Having that confidence in a friend or a loved one, that they’ll be with you in the worst of times can be so assuring. Although the storm inside you won’t be suppressed, just that bit of hope can be enough at times to keep that person taking that leap (no faith).
We don’t need to be a superman to save someone from suicide. We just got to be a human.
How long can getting the help of a professional in such matters can be taboo? Will we always treat the person as a mental patient when they do? How can we tell our friends or family about getting help and not be embarrassed or judged by them?
The stigma around the subject so profound that a person will actually think twice and say no to getting professional help. I am sure things are not as they seem, however, I only know of one person that has voluntarily got help in this matter. On the other hand, I know a handful of people that have either refused or decline to get help.
Sometimes, it’s not about others judging rather we judge ourselves even worse. That one friend or a family member can help them gain some level of confidence in getting them the required help.
It’s just a mental state, snap out of it. Just be happy. Forget everything and be normal. These are some reassuring words that prove that we are not interested in helping them, nor do we understand what they are going through and just pretend to be a good guy and be a prick. They’d probably not tell you that you are being a prick(d**k).
Tell them it’s ok to f**k up in life, fail, fall in a deep hole. We are humans, we tend to create problems in our lives. In fact, what can bring us happiness is when we solve those problems. Help them solve smaller and easily fixable problems, you know, sometimes little resolutions of minor problems that appear big to them can spark alight. That might give a sense of hope, if not actual hope, that these situations can go away.
You must have warned them about getting in a messed up situation but saying “I told you so” doesn’t help at all.
Just be kind
That’s the least that we can do in this world. I don’t see a point in doing everything else, accomplish big or small things and not be kind to each other. We don’t really what a lot of people are going through, and keeping that in mind, being kind is a courageous thing to do.
There’s a lot of hate, resentment, jealousy, and envy in this world. There’s also a lot of love, compassion, and goodness too. It’s our responsibility to give back as much love and kindness we can. We never run out of it, the more you give the more comes back to you.
That’s all folks. I hope that we don’t lose more people to suicide because they are stressed, anxious, or haven’t found a place among others. Let’s make emotional wellness a priority.